|
Mo. Deb's Blog
|
A few days ago I opened the door of my fiance's apartment and found myself looking out into utter darkness. I live an apartment building and my fiance lives across the hall from me. Since the beginning of the school year, I have been helping get his 11 year old daughter to school. It is a new and very different way for me to begin my day, and it is a bit awkward too because I spend the morning going back and forth from my apartment to theirs as we both get ready for the day. On this particular day, having given the 11 year old her breakfast and on my way back to my apartment to brush my teeth and get my bag, I opened the door to the hallway, which is always brightly lit, and found myself staring into darkness. The lights, for some reason, were out.
I am not afraid of the dark, still I had a child to navigate through a dark hall, down dark stairs, and into the daylight. I knew what I needed was light, so as soon as I got into my apartment I went for my Flashlight Jesus. Flashlight Jesus is a very small flashlight, no larger than 2 inches, shaped like a person. When you press a button on his back, a light comes out of him. I bought Flashlight Jesus for $4 on vacation this summer, and my family and friends all rolled their eyes at my purchase. One even told me it was sacra-religious. I thought it was funny, and was in a very good mood the day I found it in a gift shop and bought it. I added Flashlight Jesus to my key chain which keeps the key to my car and he has been with me ever since.
So when it was dark, I knew where I could get light. Flashlight Jesus.
Now, Flashlight Jesus is small, but gives off enough light to get down a dark hallway and stairs. But I did reconsider that maybe a larger flashlight would be better, especially with a child in tow. So I went to the closet for my big, heavy, Maglight flashlight. The one my dad gave me several years ago. But when I turned it on, the batteries were dead. So I went for another flashlight, one that I used to keep in my car. When I turned that one on, it was the same, dead batteries, no light in it at all. Back in my fiance's apartment, his daughter had dug out their flashlights, and there was no light and no batteries in them either. Now I couldn't help but pray, "thank God for Flashlight Jesus!"
Flashlight Jesus did give us more than enough light to get through the darkness and into the light of day.
Now it would be tempting to write about when all other things fail, it is Jesus who is waiting to be our light, Jesus is the light. But that really isn't what I experienced. Flashlight Jesus is a toy, and not a religious object, and certainly isn't Jesus, but the story is a good reminder that Jesus isn't sitting in a closet somewhere waiting for the lights to go out so we go and check and find his battery is working when lesser things have failed. Jesus is with us always. Flashlight Jesus was always with me, so I didn't worry about where to look, I already had it.
Jesus is like that. When we are in relationship with God through Christ; when we make room in our routines and lives for God, we don't need to panic when we open a door and find ourselves staring into spiritual darkness. We will have the reassurance that we already have what we need to get through the darkness because we aren't alone, God is with us in Christ. For that we can say, Thank you Jesus!
Thank you Flashlight Jesus for the reminder that I am not alone, and for getting us through a dark hall. |
|
|
What I Love About Baseball |
 |
 |
 |
|
By now most of you probably know the Milwaukee Brewers are the Central Division Champions. For a Brewer's fan like me, that is a major reason to celebrate. I have been a baseball fan most of my life, and it is the Brewers I have followed, supported, and rooted for, even during the not so celebratory years. Yes, I was wearing Brewer's gear when it wasn't fashionable or popular. I can't help but smile whenever I see someone out there wearing their Brewers shirts and jackets. It is fun to be a Brewers fan right now.
Lately I have had to explain to my fiance (who is not as strident a baseball fan as his beloved) what it takes for a team to get to the World Series. As I've been explaining the ways of baseball, it occurs to me why I love the sport so much. Because it isn't just about one team and how many games that team wins or loses. For a team to go all the way, it isn't just about how many games they win. It also matters what is happening with other teams, how many games other teams win and lose. Championships can be dependent on teams we might consider rivals beating another team. On Friday night, I was rooting for a Cub victory, even though I have no love for the Cubs.
In baseball there is a role all teams play in a team's journey to the World Series, and I guess that is one reason I love baseball. Sometimes we root for our rivals, sometimes a rival is our best support, sometimes teams help each other in surprising ways.
I love that baseball is lot like life. Sometimes the person I can't stand may just be the person who can help me the most. Or is the person I can support in ways that helps the larger community. I wonder if God didn't make us human beings that way so that we can never be completely independent and can't really afford to have enemies. Baseball reminds me about the things Paul wrote to the churches he helped establish, about members being different parts of the same body designed for the purpose of making Christ known to the world. Sometimes I need that reminder, sometimes I think the church needs that reminder too. That is when baseball comes in handy. So I now pray: Thank you God for giving us the inspiration of the game of baseball and the ways it can remind us of what you made us for! Amen!
(And Go Brewers!) |
|
I am having a terrible time typing anything this week. That is because of my ring finger on my left hand. It has a ring on it now, where there wasn't one before. An engagement ring.
It is very exciting to be engaged to be married. Something I often doubted would ever be real for me. Yet here I am, already changed. It is hard to focus on things sometimes, because I am getting used to this change. But it is a transition phase; this engagement. Because in about 4 months, I'll change again and be married.
Life has a way of changing. I believe while changes can be both exciting and a little scary, God is in the midst of them. I certainly can see God in the midst of the this change in my life.
About 3 and a half years ago, there was another man in my life who I believed I was in a serious relationship with. A man I believed would ask me to marry him. But he didn't. He up and left me without even saying goodbye. It was painful. I grieved a long time. The grief process was not pleasant, it wasn't fun, but it was helpful. At one point I decided I didn't want to become bitter or be a victim to the pain that was so much a part of my life. Through prayer, spiritual counsel, and holy conversation, I began to realize the only way I would grow through that time was to do what was even more painful than grieving: I was going to have to open my heart again. Even with no man in my life at the time, I was going to just have to be open to love, trusting God. That was hard to do.
Awkwardly I did do it. I did open my heart. It was not easy to do, I don't even know if I can say how exactly I was able to do it, but I did. I let myself be vulnerable again. While it didn't happen all at once, that openness and trust led me to a man I would not only fall in love with, but want to grow old with, share the adventure of life with.
Broken hearts can heal; and like all holy healings, God may fill us with more than we had before. That is what happened with me. But I had to take a risk, I had to be willing to love again even when I didn't feel lovable. When I did, I found so much more.
God is like that. God can help us heal, bringing changes into our lives, and letting us discover for ourselves the more God has for us. I have found more, and am delighted by it. |
|
Last Updated on Saturday, 03 September 2011 14:39 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
